Wednesday, 27 May 2009
Monday, 25 May 2009
I will set the scene. A man has been to ASDA and bought a pizza. He gets home, looking forward to his little "slice" of heaven, and opening the packet only to find theres no topping. Oh no! So he decides to ring ASDA to complain and here is where I leave you.
Thanks always for reading
Take it EZ
Wednesday, 20 May 2009
Tuesday, 19 May 2009
1. Lithuania - strange guy with a stupid hat - Shit.
2. Israel - Drummers playing biscuit tins - Shit.
3. France - Woman who sounded like she had a "FROG" in her throat. Pun definitely intended.
4. Sweden - Happiest but weirdest woman ever... POP-Opera with the Magic Flute-esq Queen of the night aria bit... White stage for chorus is a bit weird, can hardly bloody see.
5. Croatia - Huge pervert right off the bat. Crazy creepy smile. Keep your children away.
6. Portugal - Shit.
7. Iceland - A young, normal looking Girl... woah is it possible? Great voice. not a bad song. Mammoth backing singers though... PUT DOWN THE FORK!
8. Greece - Gayest Guy Ever... WORST ROUTINE EVER!!!!! - Shit.
9. Armenia - Sisters... Inga and Anush... An amalgamation of Shakira, The Corrs and Depeche Mode... weird... Strangely catchy...Everytime I Hear it back it gets better.
10. Russia - shit song...Weird that her face is all over the stage slowly aging. Disgusting.
11. Azerbaijan - boy and girl duet - very ricky martin. weird dancing/Gymnastics. Again... Shit.
12. Bosnia & Herzegovina - A Band - apparently have supported the rolling stones. Absolutely wank...REALLY WANK.
13. Moldova - Weird woman, good voice. Shakira style. Muppet men backing dancers. They look like there desperate for a pee. One bloke backing singer stood way back, with a huge spear thing. no idea why. Shit.
14. Malta - Voice sounds like the opposite of what she looks like. Michelle McManus springs to mind. Power ballad, not bad to be honest.
15. Estonia - a sextet of string playing ladies. Nice song, classical yet modern.
16. Denmark - written by Ronan Keating... Very stars in your eyes. Hes singing doing an impression of Ronan Keating... WHY?... Surprise surprise, Shit.
17. Germany - Dita Von Teese is on stage and gets down to her smalls... Gay electro/swing song...Lead singer has SILVER sparkly pants, For f**k sake... Awful scatting section... AND Tap Dancing! f**king tap dancing! Shit.
18. Turkey - Yet another Shakira/Beyonce wannabe. Shit song. Skimpy costumes... for Turkey... STANDARD!
19. Albania - Shit. Weird.
20. Norway - favourite to win... How?
21. Ukraine - Weird set...centurian dancers... Joan Rivers face, Shit.
22. Romania - Lovely ladies, but still poor.
23. UK - here we go...shit song. Powerfull voice but a bit too screechy.
24. Finland - I feel like I'm 14 again, one bloke rapping, 3 girls singing. Catchy dance song, nice harmonies. One of the best (of a REALLY bad bunch).