Things That Just Don't Mix

Tonight I went out for a few drinks with friends at a local restaurant. En route, my friend Edric and I were walking innocently along the pavement (as a pedestrian should do) and unbeknown to us there was the mother of all f***ing puddles ahead of us by the side of the road. In fact I would go so far as to call it a pond, this thing was gargantuan. Anyway, we continued along the street towards our destination when some brainless f*** chose to drive directly through the puddle thus giving us the soaking of a lifetime. Needless to say we weren't best pleased and as such, we hurled every name under the sun at the driver. After a good few moments of moaning like disgruntled old men, we continued on to the restaurant called El Gringos, which is a tiny Tex-Mex place that does a student night on a tuesday.

(Thanks to Google Maps for the Picture including a Chavvy Mum)

We got there, less than happy, more than damp, and ordered some beers. Edric and myself sat at a table at the far end of the restaurant with a large group of friends, on closer inspection of the interior decor, as I expected there were obvious native american paraphernalia, as well as american junk too, but for some strange reason, completely un be-known to me (And I think other people too) they had Jamaican flags and posters of Bob Marley. Please can someone explain to me what that signifies? Because I really don't have a clue. But upon a second probing I noticed something else that was extremely disconcerting, the ceiling was leaking directly over the light fixtures. 

Now I'm certainly no expert, and please do forgive me if I'm wrong, but electricity and water, aren't they two things that should be kept separate? Like Manuel Uribe and McDonalds? Yep he definitely is "Lovin' It". Call me old fashioned but come on, isn't that something that shouldn't really happen in a restaurant? I bet they payed off the health and safety officer with San Miguel and Burritos.   

So in summary, things I have seen today that just don't mix.

1. Pedestrians, cars and puddles

2. Tex-Mex restaurants and Jamaican Paraphernalia 

3. Electricity and water.

4. Manuel Uribe and McDonalds

As always I will leave you with a treat from the bottomless pit that is YouTube, but seeing as though it worked so well in the past... Heaven or Hell awaits. Enjoy.

As always thanks for reading.

Take it EZ

LW  

Update On Last Nights Events...

This is just a small post to confirm last night was officially a success. A few people who should of been there (not naming names Sean and Phil), weren't, so there was an air of disappointment at the beginning of the night, but all was soon forgotten.  There were also a few issues where to eat (we visited two places before we decided on the third) but when we did decide it was apparent that our choice was completely justified. We settled on a place called the Indian Lounge, which is situated in the centre of York. I'd heard great things from a few friends who have made this their regular curry house. 

(Sorry for the shit picture)

Anyway, after ordering four glasses of water and four bottles of Kingfisher, we tackled the menu. After much deliberation we ordered, and we waited in anticipation of the a variable smorgasbord of delights that was incoming and also to the evening ahead.

(Mark and Ed clearly happy with their food selection)

The food arrived after a short wait and its safe to say we weren't disappointed. No time was wasted getting stuck in to it, and soon all four of us began to feel quite stuffed. The food was absolutely awesome and I think I speak for Ed, Mark, Dave and myself when I say that.  

(The Post-Feed Destruction) 

We continued on to a few bars for some drinks and a good night was had by all. Thanks to all the boys for making an effort and roll on the next Dress Up Monday. 

As this is only a tiny post I won't leave you with anything crazy, or funny. Just a great song with a great video. I hope you enjoy it.

Thanks as always for reading.

Take it EZ

LW

P.S - Apologies to anyone who tried to decipher yesterdays post title. The last two digits were spelt incorrectly in the morse alphabet. I have rectified the problem, so consider the competition re-open. Thats of coarse if you really care. Thanks - LW

.--. --- ... - -. ..- -- -... . .-. .---- ---..

If you are wondering why the title for this post consists of only dots and dashes, you might recognize the seemingly unrecognizable jumble as Morse Code. It is in homage to Samuel Morse who would of celebrated his birthday today. Unfortunately he died along time ago, but I enjoy the simplicity of what he invented, so I thought I'd use it. If you want to decipher it, be my guest and I might even arrange a little prize for the first person to do it and email the answer, probably in the form of a congratulatory note or something of equivalent value.

On my time away from posting, I've been on my travels somewhat. I've been back to Manchester for a few days and I also traveled to London for 3 days with my girlfriend Sam. I was looking forward to going to "The Big Smoke" as they call it, because I've only been when I was younger and when I've been accompanied with my parents so this was a guaranteed dose of adventure heading my way. At Manchester train station I spent £10 on a new razor and some shaving gel only to leave it on the train when I arrived at London so it wasn't the best start for my wallet, but the excitement soon over shadowed it. Sam had an audition at Laban dance school on the friday, so our plan was to do as much sight seeing on the wednesday and thursday. And god damn did we do some sigh seeing! Our tired feet were dragged everywhere, and here for your viewing pleasure is a small slideshow of our trip. 

Captions:

1. Tube Map

2. Random Fixie

3. Two sharks Chillaxin'

4. Nemo

5. Dory

6. Me stood above the sharks

7. London's equivalent of York's stupid Purple dude.

8. The Eye

9. Relaxin with some legends. John Cage, Merce Cunningham

10. More legends. Jackson Pollock, Clyfford Still

11. Me after some experimental surgery

12. Random nice street in Shoreditch

13. St. Pauls

I hope you enjoyed that, obviously the trip was alot more involved but I didn't take a great deal of photographs, so do forgive the lack of consistency. But Sam and me both had an amazing time and if you've never been, then I would urge you to make the effort to go. You won't regret it.

Moving swiftly on to more current matters. As I'm writing this, I am in great anticipation of the night that lies ahead. Tonight is the first of many events that we have dubbed "Dress Up Monday". Basically for no apparent reason, were going to get gussied up, go out and have some beverages. Its only going to happen once a month so its important for everyone to make an effort. Im sure I'll be posting a few pictures of my friends making idiots of themselves or a certain friend trying to attract the opposite sex.

(Its O.K to want a piece ladies!)

On that note, I will leave you with a classic song that I somehow stumbled across again. If you don't sing along then you really arnt human! Enjoy.

Thanks always for reading

Take it EZ

LW

New Look!

Whilst sat watching Tv I decided that I fancied a change. So like Carol Smillie on acid, I went forth with the make over. I hope you like the new look, if you don't, its tough shit really. 

In celebration of my pretty looking blog, heres a beautifully shot video from Paris. Thanks to Sam from Leeds Fixed Gear for making me aware of this. 

More Other >>

Hope you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading.

Take it EZ

LW

Instances You Wish You Owned A Gun: #25 - Scally F***er

Yesterday whilst riding into the centre of manchester to meet a very good friend of mine, I was taking my usual route, and to be honest, I was enjoying a leisurely ride. I had set off about 10 minutes earlier so I could relax and take it easy (I ended up getting there in 15 minutes without trying and was 30 minutes early. Nevermind). Anyway on my way through Openshaw, which if you didn't know is moderately famous for having the film "East is East" filmed there. Anyways as I approached a left turn I noticed a scally dressed like a tool in an all black tracksuit and sporting the classic bald head "I'm a f***ing goon look".

As I approached him I checked behind to see if there was any traffic (Incase he stepped out in front of me) and noticed a car slightly behind me, Im sure it was an old woman, but it was a quick glance so I'm not entirely sure. As I got closer and closer, I noticed his arm was cocked back like a Randy Johnson.

I was immediately worried by this, all that was going through my head was, if he throws something, and I fall off, I'm going straight under the wheels of the car along side me. So I said a prayer, grit my teeth and sped up. My reasoning was that a moving target is alot harder to hit and this mentality is probably what got me through it unscathed (And also because of some lightning reactions. Not blowing my own trumpet...Obviously) and is probably why I'm not dead. As I got really close to him I saw a menacing look in his eye, and I could see he really wanted my blood on the concrete, so this made me more determined to get the better of the degenerate bastard.

Directly along side him I now was positive he was going to throw something, so at the pivotal moment I ducked right down next to my stem, A little bit lower than my good friend Theo Bos (I wish he was good friend, what a beast). As I ducked whatever he threw went right over my head and hit the car along side me on back window, which subsequently smashed. Immediately after I was in total shock, loads of scenarios were flying through my head, but the last one I thought of is I wish I had a gun. 

I turned round and saw his ugly, hulking mass waving and shouting (For what reason I will never know) and I knew I'd have no chance going one on one so I didn't even consider stopping to teach him a lesson. Besides he could of been carrying a knife or even a gun himself, this is Manchester for f*** sake. But I had such an overwhelming urge to play god and completely beat the living f***ing shit out of him. After riding off and getting really f***ing angry I completely forgot about the car window that was smashed, and because of this a sense of guilt immediately followed. When I arrived at Manchester Piccadilly to meet my friend Craig, I was in definite need of a pint. I hope wherever that absolute f***ing arse hole is hiding, I hope he suffers a painful and horrible death, and very soon!

Anyways, enough ranting for today and onto different incredible news. This morning I was reading The Observer Magazine and I read an unbelievable story that completely boggles my mind. A man named Daniel Tammet has successfully recited Pi to 22,514 decimal places. To put this into some sort of perspective, 3.14159265358979323846 is Pi to 20 decimal places. Ask yourself, could you remember that? Could you even remember to a 100? imagine 22,514, that is truly an incredible feat. He completed it in 5 hours and 9 minutes. I have major respect for uber-intelligence and this is certainly no exception.

Unfortunately I'm not leaving you with any choices today, instead I'm going to be a bit of dictator and give you something to listen to. Today I'm giving you a really happy song, but granted you will probably be slightly confused, because the song is for the complete wrong time of the year. But whatever, it makes me smile. Enjoy.  

Thanks always for reading.

Take it EZ

LW

A Review... A Rant... A Raise Of My Glass

I've said in a previous post that I don't really do product reviews, and in that particular post I made an exception. I would like to again make an exception in the case of this new gadget that my mother has acquired. For the people that know me, you will know that I love chips (Fries for the Americans reading) and anything that aids my grub-lust is as equally high rated. This new gadget ticks both those boxes. Behold!

The deep fat fryer that wouldn't be out of place in a restaurant kitchen. This is truly the Porsche of fryers. I sampled the fruit of its labour earlier and I was very impressed. I could go on about its specifications and its capabilities but why bother? It makes cracking chips, looks cool, enough said. 

Before I started writing this I watched Jurassic Park 3. I had not seen the third part of this classic film series before (well the first was a classic) and I was quite surprised. I did kinda enjoy seeing all the friendly herbivores chomping away on their trees, and there was quite alot that I enjoyed, BUT (a big BUT) Im not sure I like the fact that the velociraptors have some sort of advanced intelligence (that was kinda out of the blue for me, was there something in the second one about that?) or that a kid survived ALONE for 8 weeks whilst gathering weapons, food, AND exploring the island to a considerable extent. Even though when the main characters land on the island, they are immediately attacked by the mother of all f***ing dinosaurs. How the hell did he do that! Thats clearly not even possible and nor should anyone even think it is. Who f***ing wrote that, they should be culled or at least be subjected to chinese water torture. And another thing, the kids parents who are played by William H Macy and Tea Leoni, instead of panicking that their son is lost on a huge island with man eating dinosaurs everywhere, they keep saying "He's a smart kid" or "He's resourceful"...HES A DAMN CHILD AND THEY ARE F***ING DINOSAURS!!! Jeez.

Now I've got that off my chest I can wrap up this post feeling lighter and more elegant. Tomorrow I'm hoping the sun will shine so I can enjoy a leisurely ride on my bike, and a few ice cold beers. I'll add a picture of cold beer I've previously enjoyed to offer up as a form of sacrifice to Helios (But not in a wicker man burn someone alive way, just in a "Hey come and have a beer with me" way).

That should do it. Your welcome Helios.

In my last post I ended with a choice betwixt Heaven and Hell. Again I give you a similar choice, but this time around It's all about the booze. So I give you Gin, Whiskey, Wine or Beer. Choose your poison and enjoy it in the sun.

Thanks always for reading.

Take it EZ

LW

Has The World Gone F***ing Mental?

Whilst relaxing and listening to some Robson & Jerome this evening, I stumbled across an article in The New York Times about a current revelation in the "Keep Fit" world. This epiphany comes in the form of "Doga", a new form of Yoga in which you AND your dog can stretch and exercise together. Now I don't know who the hell has come up with this crazy idea, but for me... It's utterly f***ing pointless. Lets look at the evidence.

(Photo by Michael Nagle for The New York Times)

Now looking at that picture, I'm no expert in Yoga but how the hell is the dog stretching or receiving anything beneficial in the slightest? It's not even supporting its own weight, some muppet is holding the poor thing. Its looking into the camera saying "Why am I sat on my owners belly while they're performing an Upward Bow!". Again if you look in the background you will find a disinterested little pug, and another depressed hound which could be anything (Im not a dog expert either). But I can tell you they are all bloody confused. I thought that was it... Oh how wrong I was...

(Photo by Michael Nagle for The New York Times)

There aren't many words for this, but look at the poor thing. Its lay on its side, with its paw in the air thinking, "I could be running around in the park chasing pigeons like a mad man right now".

For humans Yoga has been practiced for thousands of years, and being one of the six schools of Hindu philosophy, its a heavily spiritual practice. Now I'm not a deeply spiritual person but I cant help feeling that the creator of "Doga" has just took a great steaming shit all over a tradition thats been going alot longer than she has, just so the celebrity wannabes with Louis Vuitton dog carriers can be socially accepted by having their pets do yet ANOTHER important activity. It argues that It's bonding for the pet and owner, but in my opinion, do Yoga and take your dog for a walk afterwards. If for some reason you do want to read the article go here. 

I will leave you with a musical choice. I refer to it only as Heaven and Hell. Take your pick.

Thanks always for reading.

Take It EZ

LW

Definitely In The Top 10 Of Easter Goodies

Today my girlfriend Sam, returned from a weekend at home with a little present for me. Incidentally I had the same little gift last year and it did not fail to impress. This easter if you are going to buy a loved one/friend/relative something for easter, I would definitely recommend this (I don't usually do reviews or recommendations because if I claim something is awesome and it turns out to be shamefully poor then I look like a muppet). But in this case I am willing to stick my neck out and say without hesitation, that it is VERY good.

I have reserved the ears for Sam but the rest will be carefully dismembered and consumed in a beautifully choreographed display of chocolate bunny slaughter. Unfortunately the show is playing for one night only and is completely sold out. 

Thanks as always for reading

Take it EZ

LW  

To The Bar!!!!

(Mark "The Badger" Lee)

Please play this whilst you read. 

Yesterday when the sun was out, hundreds upon hundreds of students descended upon my universities students union (known as Archies Bar) for "Archies Day". This occurs on the last day of term before a substantial holiday. There are two main aims to this day, one for the student population and another for the bar. For the students its the best excuse to get together and go on an all day bender and get absolutely trashed on cheap drinks. For the bar its the perfect opportunity to sell off all their stock for an insanely cheap blowout so they don't lose money on everything going stale over the holidays (in this case a 3 week easter break). The unfortunate point about this glorious day is that the bar shuts at 7pm! And as my friends Amy and Phil pointed out to me, the main reason for this is so the bar staff can drink whatever is left for free! Another thing pointed out to me is that they have never held an Archies Day at easter break before... Any bloody excuse for a free piss up!

After the bar staff closed up so they could get on with their own drinking, everybody was forced to go somewhere else, the weather insisted we continue drinking so a BBQ was held at another friends house. There was food a' plenty and also beer o' plenty. It was a great night and many people were a tad bit merry. 

What you see here are the effects of the day. People do strange things when exposed to direct sunlight and alcohol for extended periods of time. In this case unwanted "Man Love" and "Gurning" are the flavors of the day. Regardless the evening was a success and it was enjoyed by all. I am looking forward to the coming weeks to enjoy more of the same!

You can give Will Smith a break if he hasn't stopped talking about basketball, double dutch and moments of Frontin' and Maxin' yet. 

As always I wish to bestow upon you the blessings of Youtube. There's always new stuff to be found, and as usual I seem to of stumbled across it, or more precisely my girlfriend did. It needs no introduction, only know, its from Japan. Which can only mean one thing. It's Mental. 

I hope weather is being good to you where ever you happen to be. Thanks always for reading

Take it EZ

LW